a moment away from life
I can't explain this slump I'm having. I don't know why I've lost interest in doing anything all of a sudden. Maybe I just need a break? But for how long? Have you had that feeling where you want to feel useless? I have that feeling right now, when I just don't want to do anything. Nothing at all. It's lazy on a major scale. It's that bad. And I don't care what others say. It's how I currently feel. And I'm wondering where the inspiration went. It's like my spirit has become tired.
Perhaps it's a fear of anticipation. I know the feeling of being busy. And I don't want to feel that feeling for some time. I've been so preoccupied with life that I burned out, that I strained myself, and I don't want anything to do with productivity anymore. But this is all an assumption, because my life is pretty much normal. I get the feeling that I've gotten tired of the monotony. I also can't get any satisfaction in life. I have no motivation to come up with something creative and refresh my life. Have I become too cynical? Too negative perhaps? Or maybe I'm just insane.
How am I depressed? After all of these? I'm surrounded by loving friends, I get by everyday, and I have a life. I should be happy in life. But there's something missing in my life. I want to look for it. I want to concentrate on refreshing my soul.
posted by: keitaro
"Stop messing around, Kaolla! We're almost late for school!"
That girl always mess up my morning. I don't know what kind of contraption she's making me put on. She wouldn't leave me alone. She insists that those shoes would rocket propel me to school in 3 minutes. I don't mind getting there in 15 minutes, as long as I'm in one piece.
After school, I saw Keitaro-senpai's little sister, Kanako walking downtown. I thought my shrine uniform would stand out so much, but what is it with her clothes? Do she always wear black even on a sunny day? She looks one of those dark dolls from those horror movies. They come alive to haunt you and probably kill you. Anyway, I really didn't want to say hello but I thought it was impolite to just brush aside.
"Kombanwa."
"Ah. Arch-rival. We meet again." she said.
"What are you babbling about?"
"I speak the truth. We shall not duel here. We must duel at home." still not making sense.
"Duel? What?"
"Unless you're afraid. Then I accept your excuse." that popped a vein.
All I did was say hello. What's wrong with her? Obviously she might have gotten it from Keitaro-senpai's oddity. Does she always think that I'm out to get her?!
Back at home I geared up to settle her impromptu challenge. And when she appeared. I gripped my wooden sword.
"Now let's make haste. Keitaro-niisama must be hungry when he comes home. Whoever cooks the best dinner wins."
"What the heck?! A cooking duel?!"
"Of course. What were you thinking? We can't settle a cooking duel in the streets. There's no kitchen there--"
"AAAAAARGH!" and I practiced for a couple of hours with my sword.
"Seriously. Why do you always think I'm out to get you, Motoko-san?"
"NANDATO?!"
posted by: Motoko